Post archive

Christmas and New Year Opening Times - Year 2008

Please note that our opening times over the holiday season are as follows:

Wednesday 24th December 2008 - CLOSED

Thursday 25th December 2008 - CLOSED

Friday 26th December 2008 - CLOSED

Saturday 27th December 2008 - CLOSED

Monday 29th December 2008 - OPEN from 6PM to 9PM

Tuesday 30th December 2008 - OPEN from 6PMto 9PM

Wednesday 31st December 2008 - CLOSED

Thursday 1st January 2009 - CLOSED

Appointments will resume as normal on Friday, 2nd January 2009.

 

Joyeuses fetes de fin d'annee a tous et a toutes et a l'annee prochaine! MERRY XMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

News: traders - quand la testostérone s'en mêle

Voici un article tres interessant ecrit par mon ami Pierre Kaldy pour le Figaro Online (www.lefigaro.fr). Celui-ci decrit le lien direct entre les fluctuations hormonales et les resultats boursiers.

Des chercheurs de l'université de Cambridge viennent de montrer que les résultats boursiers des traders sont meilleurs lorsque ceux-ci ont des taux élevés de testostérone.

L'exubérance irrationnelle des marchés ou la grosse déprime des krachs boursiers pourraient bien avoir une origine hormonale. C'est avec cette idée en tête que John Coates, l'un des auteurs de l'étude et trader expérimenté sur le marché de New York, est revenu dans le monde académique à Cambridge en Grande-Bretagne, son université d'origine en Angleterre, pour mener une enquête sur l'importance des fluctuations hormonales sur les résultats boursiers.

Les résultats publiés dans les comptes-rendus de l'Académie nationale des sciences américaine (Pnas) (*) ont mis en évidence notamment que les traders avaient un fort taux de testostérone les jours où ils réalisaient le plus de bénéfice. Il avait observé les passeurs d'ordre pendant la crise des marchés asiatiques et lors de la bulle des valeurs technologiques à la fin des années 1990 : «Au-delà de tous les paramètres qui avaient pu être étudiés pour expliquer ces comportements, confie John Coates au Figaro, il y en avait un qui m'a paru essentiel mais complètement oublié, les hormones stéroïdiennes.» En effet, le cortisol est produit sous l'effet du stress par nos glandes surrénales, tandis que la testostérone, une autre hormone stéroïdienne produite par les testicules chez l'homme et dans une moindre mesure par les ovaires chez la femme, favorise la prise de risque.

L'ancien trader de Goldman Sachs et de la Deutsche Bank s'est alors lancé, avec le concours des facultés de neurosciences et de la Judge Business School de l'université de Cambridge, dans l'étude de ces deux hormones aux effets bien distincts. Il a demandé à dix-sept traders de la City de leur donner un échantillon de leur salive le matin à 11 heures et l'autre l'après-midi à 16 heures, sur une période de huit jours de travail consécutifs où tombaient d'importantes statistiques de l'économie américaine. Parallèlement, il avait accès aux performances boursières quotidiennes des traders volontaires.

Il apparaît que les jours où les traders avaient la concentration de testostérone la plus élevée étaient ceux où ils obtenaient les meilleurs résultats boursiers. Leur concentration en cortisol pouvait aussi connaître d'énormes variations dans une journée ou une semaine : elle grimpait en flèche lorsque le degré d'incertitude, dû à la volatilité des marchés, était le plus élevé. C'est-à-dire au moment où le stress était le plus intense.


Troubles du comportement

«Ces résultats nous intéressent beaucoup, car ils rejoignent ceux que nous avons obtenus chez des sportifs, commente Édith Filaire, chercheuse au laboratoire des activités motrices et adaptations physiques de l'université d'Or­léans. Les judokas qui, juste avant les compétitions, ont une concentration salivaire en testostérone plus élevée que d'habitude vont plus loin dans les éliminatoires. Ce sont les moins stressés et ils ont développé une stratégie attentionnelle pour répondre au défi posé. Le taux de cortisol, lui, varie fortement dans le stress anticipatoire destiné à mobiliser l'énergie.»

Une injection de testostérone pourrait-elle doper les performances des traders ? Non, s'empressent de dire les deux chercheurs, car le lien de cause à effet n'est pas établi et les équilibres hormonaux sont bien trop subtils pour être manipulés de la sorte. En revanche, de telles tempêtes hormonales, si elles persistent, peuvent conduire à des troubles du comportement.

Chez nombre d'animaux, la testostérone favorise l'agressivité. Mais son augmentation répétée lors d'une forte spéculation à la hausse pourrait induire, indiquent les chercheurs, une dépendance à la prise de risque et une impulsivité échappant à tout contrôle. De même, la présence persistante de cortisol, lors de fortes incertitudes boursières à la baisse par exemple, peut induire l'anxiété avec une tendance à exagérer les risques et à se rappeler uniquement les précédents négatifs : elle accentuerait alors les attitudes de repli excessif.

«Je ne sais pas pourquoi, précise John Coates, les traders sont dans la plupart des cas des hommes jeunes. Au vu de nos résultats, nous pensons que les emballements boursiers seraient probablement réduits si le profil endocrinien des traders était plus diversifié : des hommes d'âge mûr et des femmes, moins soumis à de forts écarts en testostérone, pourraient aussi faire ce métier.»

Ces travaux innovants doivent être reproduits et les conditions boursières actuelles semblent s'y prêter : «Maintenant, ce serait fantastique, assure John Coates.

(*) Pnas, 104, 6 167, publication du 14 avril 2008.

Pierre Kaldy
04/05/2008

 

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

Closed

The Focus Clinic will exceptionnally be closed from 05-12 December 2008. For urgent queries only, please contact our reception on 020 7467 8539 who will forward your message to us or email us to info@thefocusclinic.co.uk.

Appointments will resume as normal on Monday, 15th December 2008.

Thank you.

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

News: Letter from the NSPCC


Urgent action

Dear Supporter,

The death of Baby P has shocked the whole country.

As a supporter of the NSPCC, I know you will feel, like us, horror, sadness and anger at the news of the death of this little boy.

We are working to shape the debate about child protection: talking directly to government and professionals who work with children, submitting evidence to the Laming review of the child protection system in England, and keeping the media and wider public informed.

In the coming weeks, we'll be launching a public campaign to help keep children safe. We need your help to influence the Government. Join our Campaign Action Group and we'll be in touch soon.

The more of us that sign up, the stronger our voice will be.

If you feel as strongly as we do, please forward to as many people as possible.

***If you are worried about a child call the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000.

 

For further information about NSPCC, please visit their website http://www.nspcc.org.uk/default.html

CRUELTY TO CHILDREN MUST STOP. FULL STOP.

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

Entertainment: how smart are you?

Here is a fun way to test just how smart you are.

Below are four questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can NOT take your time and must answer all of them immediately.

Question 1: you are participating in a race. You overtake the SECOND person. What position are you in?

..........

..........

Answer 1: if you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person, you take his/her place, so you are second!

 

Now answer the second question.

Question 2: if you overtake the LAST person, then you are...?

..........

..........

Answer 2: if you answered that you are second to last, then you are WRONG again. Tell us, how can you overtake the LAST person?

 

Now here is a very tricky arithmetic! N.B.: this must be done in your head ONLY. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.

Question 3:

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

..........

..........

Answer 3: did you get 5000? The CORRECT answer is actually 4100. If you don't believe us, check it with a calculator!

 

Now try the fourth question.

Question 4: Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

..........

..........

Answer 4: did you answer Nunu? NO, of course it is NOT. Her name is Mary!

 

Now the BONUS question.

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses. How does HE indicate what he wants?

..........

..........

BONUS answer: he just has to open his mouth and ask... It is really that simple!

 

Pass this on to all your smart friends and family :)

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

News: Hypnotism is for real, scientists say after brain-scan study of volunteers

Hypnotism produces physical changes in the brain, according to a study showing that the favourite stage act of 19th- century magicians has a genuine scientific basis and could play an important role as a painkiller in medicine.

Scientists who hypnotised a group of volunteers have shown that the state induces a change in blood flow to the brain that cannot be explained by the power of suggestion. Hypnotism, they concluded, is for real.

The research by scientists from the universities of Harvard and Stanford has demonstrated beyond doubt that some people are highly susceptible to hypnosis and that when they are hypnotised they use their brain subconsciously in a way not previously thought possible.

David Spiegel, professor of psychiatry and behavioural sciences at Stanford's school of medicine, said clinical trials showed that hypnotised people, especially children, could cope more easily with extreme pain. "Every doctor ought to be taught the simple techniques of hypnosis," he told the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science in Boston yesterday.

"It's thought to be something that takes away control from a patient, but it's actually something that enhances their own self control. So you can teach people how to manage their anxiety, how to manage their pain and they are grateful for it."

The study involved scanning the brains of eight hypnotised volunteers who were first screened to see how susceptible they were to hypnosis. About half the population could be hypnotised to a moderate extent, and about 10 per cent were "highly hypnotisable", the scientists found.

The subjects were made to look at a grid of patterns that could be turned from black and white into colour. When hypnotised, they were asked to imagine colours when there were none, and black and white when there were colours. A brain scanner was used to measure blood flow to certain regions of the subject's brain, such as the fusiform gyrus, which is involved in processing the visual information relating to coloured images. Professor Spiegel said: "What we found is that, as we predicted, when the highly hypnotisables thought they were seeing colour but were seeing black and white, there was an increase in the blood flow in the fusiform gyrus.

"And when they thought they were seeing black and white but were really seeing in colour, there was a decrease in blood flow. So believing was seeing.

"In fact when they believed they were looking at colour, the part of their brain that processes colour vision showed increased blood flow and when they believed they were looking at black and white it showed decreased blood flow."

The findings cannot be explained by the simple "power of persuasion" that some sceptics have used to discredit hypnosis, Professor Spiegel said. "They [the volunteers] are not just telling you what you want to hear, they are actually able to change the way the brain perceives information and that has tremendous therapeutic potential. This is scientific evidence that something unusual happens in the brain that doesn't happen ordinarily when people are hypnotised. There's been a whole school of argument that hypnosis is nothing more than an exaggerated form of social compliance, that people are just telling you what you think you want to hear."

Professor Spiegel has used hypnosis on adults and children having painful medical procedures. One such operation on children involves inserting a catheter into the bladder, which has to be done without anaesthetics because it requires the co-operation of the patient.

"It's a horrible procedure. We're now doing a randomised trial comparing teaching the kids self-hypnosis – I have them imagining they are going to Disneyland – versus doing just standard care," he said.

"We're finding so far similar results to what we've seen in adults. There is less crying, less pain as the doctors are inserting the catheter and the procedure takes 20 minutes less."

By Steve Connor, The Independent online (http://www.independent.co.uk)

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

Entertainment: can you change the colour of the ball?

"The cerebellum (Latin for little brain) is a region of the brain that plays an important role in the integration of sensory perception, coordination and motor control. In order to coordinate motor control, there are many neural pathways linking the cerebellum with the cerebral motor cortex (which sends information to the muscles causing them to move) and the spinocerebellar tract (which provides proprioceptive feedback on the position of the body in space). The cerebellum integrates these pathways, like a train conductor, using the constant feedback on body position to fine-tune motor movements." (definition by Wikipedia).

Here is a game that involves both your motor cortex and the cerebellum. Click on the ball and it will change colour. N.B.: this can be done.

To access the game, click here.

Enjoy!

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

News: Hypnotism - it's all in the mind

There's no magic, no swinging pendulums or swaying watches, and no one is counting backwards as they slump into unconsciousness. This is medical rather than stage or movie hypnotism, and it is increasingly being used to treat the symptoms of diseases and conditions as diverse as asthma, cystic fibrosis, snoring, migraines and warts.

It's been used to allow surgery and dental work without anaesthesia, and for pain-free childbirth without medication. And new evidence from the UK's first and only NHS centre offering hypnotherapy shows that it's highly effective in treating some types of chest pain as well as irritable bowel syndrome.

New research from America has also found that more than half the people who used hypnotherapy to give up smoking were able to kick the habit, while researchers in France have successfully used the therapy to lower blood pressure.

Hypnosis has been used for centuries to treat diverse ills, but it went into relative decline with the rise of modern medicine, and in the last 200 years it's been more associated with stage magicians and movie villains than medicine.

Film-makers take a lot of blame for damaging the image of hypnotism: "When a hypnotist appears on screen, expect evil. If his induction features magnetic hand passes, he's probably about to compel someone to commit a crime. If he hypnotises with an intense stare, his intent is likelier seduction,'' says Dr Deirdre Barrett of Harvard Medical School, who has studied more than 200 films about hypnotism.

At the University Hospital of South Manchester, Professor Peter Whorwell, a gastroenterologist who heads the only NHS-funded hypnotherapy centre in Britain, which has been pioneering the therapy as a treatment of irritable bowel syndrome, agrees. "One of the problems is the name,'' he says. "If we started off again with a name like neuromodulation, for example, it would be more readily accepted. The name hypnotism has so much baggage attached. Cognitive behavioural therapy is now reasonably well accepted, and so, too, is psychotherapy, but of the three, I would say hypnotism is potentially the most powerful. It is becoming a treatment of choice for IBS.

"When I am dead and gone, people are going to suddenly realise that hypnotism is an incredibly powerful tool and question why it has been ignored for so long.''

Just how it works is not clear, and some critics suggest it's simply a way of relaxing. But practitioners say there's more to it, and that under hypnosis the patient can concentrate intensely on a specific thought, memory, feeling or sensation while blocking out distractions.

"The first thing you have to do is get past the myths and misconceptions about clinical hypnosis," says Dr Carol Ginandes who led a study into its use for anxiety at Harvard Medical School. "It's not used for entertainment. There are no Svengali-like figures in power-dominant relationships. It's not a sleep state or something that someone can make you do. It's a state of heightened, focused attention that we can all shift into very naturally.''

In a report in the Harvard Magazine, she explains how it has an effect: "We don't yet understand the mechanisms by which these suggestions are transplanted by the mind into the language of the body, but let's say someone is a smoker. When he's in a hypnotic state, I could suggest that he's going to find himself craving cigarettes less and less over a period of time. If he's ready to quit, that suggestion will be planted at a deep level in his mind, like seeds planted beneath the soil rather than scattered over the top, helping him tap into some useful physical and psychological resources."

Smoking

In a study at the Scott and White Memorial Hospital in Texas, smokers were given eight sessions of therapy over two months, and told to quit smoking one week after beginning the course of treatment.

Carbon-monoxide concentration tests were carried out on the patients to see whether they had smoked after treatment, and results showed that by the end of treatment 40 per cent had given up. At a follow-up 12 weeks later, 60 per cent had quit.

Dental

Hypnotherapy is increasingly being used in a number of areas of dentistry, including dental phobia, teeth-grinding and extractions and fillings. It has also been used for dental surgery that is usually done under local or general anaesthetic.

In one reported case, a patient in Scotland has also had a tooth implant, which involved putting a titanium rod into her jaw. In her case, hypnosis was used to alter the sensation in the areas where surgery was taking place. She was asked to imagine a dial where zero meant no pain.

Chest pains

Up to one-third of patients who have angina-like chest pain are found to have normal coronary arteries, but many continue to suffer painful symptoms despite no evidence of heart disease. Non-cardiac chest pain is a problem because there is little or no treatment.

In a new NHS-funded trial at Manchester, 28 patients were given 12 sessions of hypnotherapy or a placebo treatment. After being hypnotised, patients were told to focus on the chest, and given repetitive suggestions about reducing pain. Patients were also given a tape of a session and encouraged to practise at home. Results show that of those who had the therapy, eight out of 10 had an all-round improvement in symptoms.

Wound healing

Researchers at Harvard Medical School have shown that broken bones and surgical wounds heal faster in patients who have hypnotherapy. Six weeks after breaking their ankles, patients being treated with hypnotherapy were three weeks ahead in their healing schedule than those who were just put in plaster.

In a second study, the researchers had similar results with surgical wounds. Before surgery, suggestions were made under therapy on pain and anxiety, and on decreased inflammation, reduced scar tissue, and accelerated wound-healing. Results show the women who had the therapy healed significantly faster.

Irritable bowel syndrome

One of the most common gastrointestinal disorders, with research showing that between five and 20 per cent of us suffer at some time. Its main symptoms include abdominal pain, diarrhoea or constipation. The exact cause is not known, but in some people changes in the balance of bacteria that line the gut are thought to be involved, as well as inflammation. Existing treatment for the condition can be only moderately effective.

Research at the University Hospital of South Manchester, where the first trial of hypnotherapy for the condition was carried out, shows that the majority of sufferers can benefit. "We have found that IBS patients treated with hypnotherapy remain well in the long term, with dramatically reduced medication needs,'' say the researchers.

Cystic fibrosis

According to a University of Michigan report, hypnotherapy can reduce symptoms of cough, shortness of breath, anxiety and other symptoms of cystic fibrosis.

A study at the Robert C Schwartz Cystic Fibrosis Center at the State University of New York also shows that self-hypnosis can be highly effective. "Many of the patients used hypnosis for more than one purpose, including relaxation (61 per cent of patients), relief of pain associated with medical procedures (31 per cent), headache relief (16 per cent), changing the taste of medications to make the flavour more palatable (10 per cent), and control of other symptoms associated with CF (18 per cent). The patients successfully utilised self-hypnosis 86 per cent of the time.''

Childbirth

Research at the Women's and Children's Hospital in Adelaide, where hypnosis is used for women in labour, shows it is highly effective. Women who had the therapy, which was given after 37 weeks gestation, used fewer epidurals - 36 per cent compared with 53 per cent in other women. A second study showed that women taught self-hypnosis reduced their need for analgesia by half, epidurals by 70 per cent, and were more than twice as likely to be satisfied with their pain management in labour compared with other women.

Snoring

According to Harley Street psychiatrist Dr Tom Kraft, snoring can be treated with hypnotherapy by suggesting under hypnosis that the sufferer turns on his side every time he begins to snore.

"I have reported on the case of a 53-year-old man who came to see me after his snoring led to his wife throwing him out of the bedroom,'' he says. "After I treated him, his snoring went, and he was allowed back in the bedroom, for which he was eternally grateful. After 10 sessions, the patient no longer snored, and when he was followed up later the improvements had been maintained.''

What is hypnotism?

What hypnotism doesn't do is put people to sleep, or make them lose control, or do things against their will. "Many see it as the mind being taken over by the hypnotist and loss of control, which is completely erroneous," says Professor Peter Whorwell at the University Hospital of South Manchester. "As a consequence of this, the whole subject is surrounded by a cloud of mystery."

In hypnotherapy, patients are helped by the therapist to reach what's described as a relaxed state of consciousness, like being absorbed in a good book. Therapists may start by describing images that create a sense of security and well-being. They may then suggest ways of achieving specific goals, such as getting rid of phobias.

Just how it works is not clear. Practitioners say the patient can concentrate intensely on a specific thought, memory, feeling or sensation while blocking out distractions.

Article from Roger Dobson for The Independent Online (http://www.independent.co.uk)

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

Entertainment: NLP Eye Accessing Cues (Derren Brown video)

The following video featuring Derren Brown shows how techniques like the NLP Eye Accessing Cues model can be used, not only in the entertainment industry but also in business and even in therapy.

 

 

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

Techniques: gerer le stress par le massage

Le site web www.guerir.fr nous propose un moyen tres simple de gerer le stress par un doux massage des mains. A consommer sans moderation!

Pour acceder au lien, cliquez ici.

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

Entertainment: the notion of fate in Sliding Doors (1998) by Peter Howitt

... what if things were happening for a reason?

 

 

 A mediter.

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

Technique: En finir avec les traumatismes en un clin d'oeil (video)

C`est une révolution, peut-être la plus importante de tous les temps en psychothérapie. On l`appelle EMDR, une thérapie inventée en 1987 aux Etats-Unis et qui est devenue la méthode la plus étudiée au monde. Il s`agit de guérir les traumatismes en utilisant le mouvement des yeux. Pour parler de l`effet EMDR, Ursula Gauthier reçoit les psychanalystes Jacques Roques et Michel Meignant.

 

En finir avec les traumatismes en un clin d`oeil - Nouvel Obs

En finir avec les traumatismes en un clin d`oeil - Nouvel Obs

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

Entertainment: le pouvoir de la suggestion positive (video)

 

 

"Positive anything is better than negative thinking" - Elbert Green Hubbard (June 19, 1856 – May 7, 1915), American writer, publisher, artist, and philosopher.

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

News: the dangers of prolonged stress

Peta Bee's article below for The Sunday Times explains the physical, psychological and emotional dangers of prolonged stress.

Cracking up?
Work related stress can ruin your life, not just your job

After three weeks of summer holidays with her family in Italy, Laura Hughes was preparing to return to her job of producing current-affairs documentaries. Flipping open her laptop, she heard her son Oscar, 6, remarking glumly to his father that “Mummy’s going back to work, so she’s going be really angry with us all again and we better stay out of her way”. It was a reminder that she wasn’t fooling anyone; managing a high-octane career was making her intolerably stressed.

“Oscar’s words hit me hard,” she says. “Although my work is demanding, I thought I’d shielded my family from the stress I was under. But he was spot-on. When I’m working hard, I take it out on my family by shouting or getting tearful, and really resenting the perfectly reasonable demands they place on me — they’re my children, after all.

“At a certain level, stress is exciting and motivating. But there’s another moment beyond that — and it’s hard to identify when it’s approaching — when I’m like a frightened bunny. I become paralysed with fear, waking at 4am feeling sick, which means I’m a nightmare by evening. It’s not just me paying the price: the kids do, my husband does and my employee does, too, because I know I’m less productive in that state.”

The psychological manifestations of stress that Laura describes — sleeplessness, nausea, fear — are familiar to many people. Work-related stress can be responsible for numerous physical conditions, including raised blood pressure, headaches, indigestion and increased heart rate, but the emotional toll is often the thing that is most difficult for women to handle. At its worst, acute stress can be responsible for severe depression and panic attacks, devastating for the individual, but also for society as a whole, because it is estimated that 13.8m working days are lost every year due to work-related emotional stress.

For some, the idea of work actually enhancing an individual’s physical and mental health might seem unrealistic. Too often work is simply a means to pay the rent and run a life. Work in the public sector, and your stress levels are likely to be very high; statistically, teachers and nurses are some of the people most susceptible to emotional stress.

“Everyone knows we work some of the longest hours in Europe, but for many employees there’s also the increasing pressure of meeting targets,” says Ian Draper, convenor of the UK National Work-Stress Network, a campaigning group set up to work towards eradicating stress in the workplace. “Performance targets put excessive pressure on employees, both in terms of actual workload and paperwork.”

It isn’t merely the hours women are working that is the problem: it’s the stress of bottling up the strain they are under, especially in male-dominated professional spheres. Having worked for two decades in the City before switching to a career in local government, Julianna Hart has been at the sharp end of different management styles. “Men and women react differently to stress: men tend to shout, and women to cry,” she says. “It’s annoying that it’s essentially acceptable for men to lose their temper within a business environment, and yet crying is viewed as an unacceptable weakness, particularly in the City.”

A loss of control, precipitating the “frightened bunny” feeling that Hughes experienced, is often cited a key stress trigger, particularly for women managing a demanding professional life alongside the demands of young children. “There are few things more stressful than coping with work and young children,” says Louise Stormer, who resigned from her position as a high-profile headhunter when the challenges of juggling work with the demands of her young family became insurmountable. “The pressure of very long, employee-imposed working days was eventually intolerable.

I lost a stone and aged about a decade because I was so exhausted and anxious about meeting my targets.”

This anxiety can have serious long-term consequences. In Stormer’s case, she developed depression. “I felt really ashamed about it at first and was in denial about how bad the strain had got. My husband identified it, as I’m naturally a fairly buoyant person. There is real stigma about depression. It’s not something that you can take with you into a thriving business environment. At its worst, the stress of work contaminated all areas of my life. It became impossible to compartmentalise it. Although I looked forward to seeing the kids in the evening, I found myself staying in the office late, postponing the moment of going home so that they would be in bed by the time I got there. I didn’t know how to unfold myself psychologically from work and relate to my children as a mum. Looking back, I realise I was clinging onto sanity by a very thin thread.”

When that thread snapped, and her doctor recommended she take sick leave due to depression, she made a stark choice, and resigned; she now works W part time for a financial consultancy instead. “Initially, it was financially precarious, but because that felt self-imposed, I knew I could cope with it. It helped me regain control of my life, personally and professionally.”

A lack of control, exacerbating emotional stress that can lead to depression, is partly the effect of the exponential increase in our dependence on technology. Working without e-mail and internet access is now pretty unthinkable, but these now seep into our traditional downtime. A lunch break — and even the weekend off — is something that some of us are in danger of losing.

“I think my BlackBerry is clawing away at my sanity,” says one high- profile fashion designer who prefers to remain anonymous. “My business is about creating a highly desirable world of effortless luxury and glamour. I’m good at projecting that image in public, but I’m plagued by profound emotional stress all the time. It’s got worse since I got a BlackBerry, because people expect me to answer questions relating to the running of the company within moments, day or night. It’s made me jumpy and much more prone to panic attacks. And yet I cannot give it up, because now that I’m dependent on it, being without it is, ironically, stressful.”

Minimising the emotional demands of a pressurised career is challenging, and part of it lies in making an effort to maintain clearer work/life boundaries.

“The stress reported by so many derives from lack of clarity with regard to our sense of our own identity: we end up unsatisfied with our performance as worker or lover or parent because we don’t know which we’re meant to be from one moment to the next and so find it impossible to wholeheartedly embrace any one role,” says the Jungian analyst Mark Saban. “The kind of detachment that would, until recently, have been given automatically by the clear boundaries between work and nonwork needs to be consciously rediscovered or re-established by the individual.”

Perhaps, though, stress is simply a part of the human condition. Laura Hughes was still smarting from her son Oscar’s comment when her boss’s wife stomped into the office. “She complained about how genuinely stressful buying a school uniform was.

I wanted to throw my keyboard at her, and felt she had no real clue about the kind of demands many working mothers are facing. But it did make me feel that, whatever situation we’re in, part of our genetic make-up to feel stressed out.”

Risking infertility

One in seven couples in the UK now struggles to conceive and, for many women, prolonged stress and anxiety could be the root cause. Professor Sarah Berga of Emory University in America is a leading proponent of the link between chronic stress and compromised fertility. She has shown that stress often triggers a cascade of events that result in reduced levels of two hormones that are crucial for ovulation, and that women with hectic jobs on top of busy lives are most at risk. One of her studies, published two years ago, showed that women who didn’t ovulate had excessive levels of the stress hormone cortisol present in their brain fluid.

“Your brain is hard to fool,” says Berga. “If you are undereating, overworking and overexercising, then the hypothalamus — the part of the brain that controls the release of hormones — keeps a running tally of what you are doing.”

For many women, stress-related infertility can be reversed. Berga found that ovulation was restored in seven out of 10 women who underwent “talking therapies” such as cognitive behavioural therapy.

The unsightly signs that you are working too hard

For women who try to have it all — career, family, social life and exercise regime — something, inevitably, has to give, and often it is their health.

Emerging research into the effects of stress have linked it to conditions as diverse as heart disease, skin complaints and depression, with overloaded lives causing a surge in stress hormones that negatively affect the body and mind. Hair loss and acne are two big stress-related issues now affecting women, but if you’re suffering, there are ways to ease the strain.

HAIR LOSS

The number of women suffering from stress-related hair loss has doubled in the past decade, according to the charity Hairline International. Dr Hugh Rushton of the University of Portsmouth’s school of pharmacy surveyed 800 women for a study published in the Journal of Investigative Dermatology and found that nearly one-third of them had experienced considerable thinning or loss of hair.

For many sufferers, the problem is androgenic alopecia, which can be genetic, but is more likely caused by stress and hormonal imbalances.

“Stress causes a rise in adrenaline, which can be converted by the body into cholesterol and then dihydrotestosterone, a substance that causes hair loss in both men and women,” says the trichologist Philip Kingsley. “Stress can also affect the body’s ability to absorb nutrients, which makes matters worse.”

Getting enough sleep through catnaps and trying to incorporate stress-busting activities such as yoga can help, but diet is also important. “It is thought supplements of B vitamins can help to counteract the effects of stress,” Kingsley says. “Because hair is made of protein, it is also vital to eat low-fat protein foods like cheese, milk and dairy, preferably for breakfast, as hair follicles have their lowest energy supplies first thing in the morning.”

A drop in serum ferritin levels, caused by too little iron in the diet, can also slow the rate of hair growth. Iron-rich foods, including red meat, leafy green vegetables and fortified breakfast cereals, should be eaten on a regular basis.

ADULT ACNE

According to the British Association of Dermatologists (BAD), more women than ever are now consulting their GP about acne well past their teenage years. Indeed, studies carried out at Leeds General Infirmary showed that 14% of UK women aged 26-44 suffer from facial acne, and that the average age for people being treated for the condition has risen from 20.5 in 1984 to 26.5 today.

One of the main triggers for adult acne is stress, which increases the production of male hormones. People with acne have sebaceous glands that are hypersensitive to testosterone. Using oil-free moisturisers and noncomodogenic pore-blocking cosmetics is helpful, but in persistent cases it is worthwhile seeking treatment.

Nina Goad of BAD says the first step should be to try over-the-counter products containing benzoyl peroxide. “If they don’t work, visit your doctor, who may refer you to a consultant dermatologist,” she says. “A combination of topical creams, antibiotics and hormonal therapies may be prescribed.” Some types of contraceptive pill, such as Dianette, are beneficial, she notes, while others make acne worse.

Roaccutane, a vitamin A derivative, is one of the most powerful treatments and effective in many cases, but it has some unpleasant side effects, and should not be taken by women who are likely to become pregnant while taking the drug, or within a month of stopping it.

 

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

News: bereavement and the grieving process

Bereavement is a distressing but common experience. Sooner or later most of us will suffer the death of someone we love. Yet in our everyday life we think and talk about death very little, perhaps because we encounter it less often than our grandparents did. For them, the death of a brother or sister, friend or relative, was a common experience in their childhood or teenage years. For us, these losses usually happen later in life. So we do not have much of a chance either to learn about grieving - how it feels, what are the right things to do, what is 'normal' - or to come to terms with it. In spite of this, we have to cope when we are finally faced with the death of someone we love.

In an attempt to help the bereaved person and his/her friends & family understand the bereavement and grieving process, The Royal College of Psychiatrists has created a leaflet that describes the different phases of the grieving process. Here it is.

Grieving

We grieve after any sort of loss, but most powerfully after the death of someone we love. It is not just one feeling, but a whole succession of feelings, which take a while to get through and which cannot be hurried.

We most often grieve for someone that we have known for some time. However, it is clear that people who have had stillbirths or miscarriages, or who have lost very young babies, grieve in the same way and need the same sort of care and consideration.

In the few hours or days following the death of a close relative or friend, most people feel simply stunned, as though they cannot believe it has actually happened. They may feel like this even if the death has been expected.

This sense of emotional numbness can be a help in getting through all the important practical arrangements that have to be made, such as getting in touch with relatives and organising the funeral. However, this feeling of unreality may become a problem if it goes on too long. Seeing the body of the dead person may, for some, be an important way of beginning to overcome this.

Similarly, for many people, the funeral or memorial service is an occasion when the reality of what has happened really starts to sink in. It may be distressing to see the body or attend the funeral, but these are ways of saying goodbye to those we love. At the time, these things may seem too painful to go through and so are not done. However, this can lead to a sense of deep regret in future years.

Soon though, this numbness disappears and may be replaced by a dreadful sense of agitation, of pining or yearning for the dead person. There is a feeling of wanting somehow to find them, even though this is clearly impossible. This makes it difficult to relax or concentrate and it may be difficult to sleep properly. Dreams can be very upsetting.

Some people feel that they 'see' their loved one everywhere they go - in the street, the park, around the house, anywhere they had spent time together. People often feel very angry at this time - towards doctors and nurses who did not prevent the death, towards friends and relatives who did not do enough, or even towards the person who has, by dying, left them.

Another common feeling is guilt. People find themselves going over in their minds all the things they would have liked to have said or done. They may even consider what they could have done differently that might have prevented the death. Of course, death is usually beyond anyone's control and a bereaved person may need to be reminded of this. Some people may feel guilty if they feel relieved that their loved one has died after a painful or distressing illness. This feeling of relief is natural, understandable and very common.

This state of agitation is usually strongest about two weeks after the death, but is soon followed by times of quiet sadness or depression, withdrawal and silence. These sudden changes of emotion can be confusing to friends or relatives, but are part of the normal process of grief.

Although the agitation lessens, the periods of depression become more frequent and reach their peak between four and six weeks later. Spasms of grief can occur at any time, sparked off by people, places or things that bring back memories of the dead person.

Other people may find it difficult to understand or be embarrassed when the bereaved person suddenly bursts into tears for no obvious reason. At this stage it may be tempting to keep away from other people who do not fully understand or share the grief. However, avoiding others can store up trouble for the future, and it is usually best to start to return to one's normal activities after a couple of weeks or so.

During this time, it may appear to others as though the bereaved person is spending a lot of time just sitting, doing nothing. In fact, they are usually thinking about the person they have lost, going over again and again both the good times and the bad times they had together. This is a quiet, but essential part of coming to terms with the death.

As time passes, the fierce pain of early bereavement begins to fade. The depression lessens and it is possible to think about other things and even to look again to the future. However, the sense of having lost a part of oneself never goes away entirely. For bereaved partners there are constant reminders of their new singleness, in seeing other couples together and from the deluge of media images of happy families. After some time it is possible to feel whole again, even though a part is missing. Even so, years later you may sometimes find yourself talking as though he or she were still here with you.

These various stages of mourning often overlap and show themselves in different ways in different people. Most recover from a major bereavement within one or two years. The final phase of grieving is a letting-go of the person who has died and the start of a new sort of life. The depression clears completely, sleep improves and energy returns to normal. Sexual feelings may have vanished for some time, but now return - this is quite normal and nothing to be ashamed of.

Having said all this, there is no 'standard' way of grieving. We are all individuals and have our own particular ways of grieving.

In addition, people from different cultures deal with death in their own distinctive ways. Over the centuries, people in different parts of the world have worked out their own ceremonies for coping with death.

In some communities death is seen as just one step in the continuous cycle of life and death rather than as a 'full stop'. The rituals and ceremonies of mourning may be very public and demonstrative, or private and quiet. In some cultures the period of mourning is fixed, in others not. The feelings experienced by bereaved people in different cultures may be similar, but their ways of expressing them are very different.

Children and adolescents

Even though children may not understand the meaning of death until they are three or four years old, they feel the loss of close relatives in much the same way as adults. It is clear that, even from infancy, children grieve and feel great distress.

However, they have a different experience of time from that of adults, and may go through the stages of mourning quite rapidly. In their early school years, children may feel responsible for the death of a close relative and so may need to be reassured. Young people may not speak of their grief for fear of adding extra burdens to the grown-ups around them. The grief of children and adolescents, and their need for mourning, should not be overlooked when a member of the family has died. They should usually, for instance, be included in the funeral arrangements.

How can friends and relatives help

  • You can help by spending time with the person who has been bereaved. More than words comfort, they need to know that you will be with them during this time of pain and distress. A sympathetic arm around the shoulders will express care and support when words are not enough.
  • It is important that, if they want to, bereaved people can cry with somebody and talk about their feelings of pain and distress without being told to pull themselves together. In time, they will come to terms with it, but first they need to talk and to cry.
  • Others may find it hard to understand why the bereaved person has to keep talking about the same things again and again, but this is part of the process of resolving grief and should be encouraged. If you don't know what to say, or don't even know whether to talk about it or not, be honest and say so. This gives the bereaved person a chance to tell you what he or she wants. People often avoid mentioning the name of the person who has died for fear that it will be upsetting. However, to the bereaved person it may seem as though others have forgotten their loss, adding a sense of isolation to their painful feelings of grief.
  • Remember that festive occasions and anniversaries (not only of the death, but also birthdays and weddings) are particularly painful times. Friends and relatives can make a special effort to be around.
  • Practical help with cleaning, shopping or looking after children can ease the burden of being alone. Elderly bereaved partners may need help with the chores that the deceased partner used to handle - coping with bills, cooking, housework, getting the car serviced and so on.
  • It is important to allow people enough time to grieve. Some can seem to get over the loss quickly, but others take longer. So don't expect too much too soon from a bereaved relative or friend - they need the time to grieve properly, and this will help to avoid problems in the future.

Grief that is unresolved

There are people who seem hardly to grieve at all. They do not cry at the funeral, avoid any mention of their loss and return to their normal life remarkably quickly. This is their normal way of dealing with loss and no harm results, but others may suffer from strange physical symptoms or repeated spells of depression over the following years. Some may not have the opportunity to grieve properly. The heavy demands of looking after a family or business may mean that there just isn't the time.

Sometimes the problem is that the loss is not seen as a 'proper' bereavement. This happens often, but by no means always, to those who have had a miscarriage or stillbirth, or even an abortion. Again, frequent periods of depression may follow.

Some may start to grieve, but get stuck. The early sense of shock and disbelief just goes on and on. Years may pass and still the sufferer finds it hard to believe that the person they loved is dead. Others may carry on being unable to think of anything else, often making the room of the dead person into a kind of shrine to their memory.

Occasionally, the depression that occurs with every bereavement may deepen to the extent that food and drink are refused and thoughts of suicide arise.

 

"We all die. The goal is not to live forever. The goal is to create something that will." - Charles Michael Palahniuk ((born February 21, 1962) - American transgressional fiction novelist and freelance journalist.

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

Entertainement: Gad Elmaleh - La clope (partie 1 & 2)

Voici deux videos de Gad Elmaleh sur son celebre sketche 'La clope'. A apprecier sans moderation mais a mediter aussi...

 

 

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

Closed

The Focus Clinic will exceptionnally be closed from 08-21 September 2008. For urgent queries only, please contact our reception on 020 7467 8539 who will forward your message to us or email us to info@thefocusclinic.co.uk.

Appointments will resume as normal on Monday, 22nd September 2008.

Thank you.

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

Entertainment: A la folie... pas du tout (partie II)

 

Bien que mon amour soit fou,
ma raison calme les trop vives douleurs
de mon coeur en lui disant de patienter,
et d'esperer toujours...

Une erotomane internee pendant plus de cinquante ans.

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

Closed

The Focus Clinic will exceptionnally be closed from 22-26 August 2008. For urgent queries only, please contact our reception on 020 7467 8539 who will forward your message to us.

Appointments will resume as normal on Wednesday, 27th August 2008.

Thank you.

Stephanie - info@thefocusclinic.co.uk

News: Living in the moment - Article written by Rosie Boycott for the Times Online

Is this the only real way of finding inner peace? We asked seven writers how they have learnt to appreciate the present

Is anything ever good enough for us? A few weeks ago, I was in one of the most beautiful places in the world: the Skeleton Coast in Namibia. The wind was whipping the sea into a frenzy, making swimming tricky. The day before, it had been calm, and I found myself thinking: “Why weren’t we here yesterday?”

Recently, I was at a spa, having a delicious Thai massage. I’d booked a 90-minute treatment, and I decided to have an hour-long massage followed by a half-hour facial. But I was lying there thinking: “I should have made the massage shorter and the facial longer.” I wasn’t enjoying the moment because I kept thinking of ways I could improve it.

Both times, I let myself slide out of the moment, out of an appreciation of what is here and now. That annoying little worm of dissatisfaction was repeating its wicked mantra in my head: “There’s always something better, or different, that I could be doing.”

Our consumer society is greatly to blame here: if every advert promises you success if you’d only buy this car, wear this watch, acquire this handbag, then dissatisfaction with what you have and what you are is an inevitable outcome. Putting your life on hold, in the belief that this job, this thing, this event, will magically make it all right, holds no chance of peace. Noticing what is right under your nose — which is the wonder of being alive in a world already full of possibilities — brings riches no material item ever can.

Martha Gellhorn, the war correspondent and one-time wife of Ernest Hemingway, was a close friend of mine. By the time she died in 1998, Martha was in her late eighties, but she was still as alert and fiery as a woman of 30. Her body, which finally betrayed her, had aged, but her mind never did, and I think her secret was that she always lived in the present. Not for her harking back to better times, complaining that things today weren’t as good as they had been; not for her complaining that if only this or that would happen, then her life would be magically transformed.

Most of us don’t live like this. Our mental chatter, or the civil war in our head, as Bob Geldof once memorably described it to me, goes something like this: “If only I hadn’t done that, then everything would be all right.” If you think like that — and most of us do — you end up doing things not for their own sake, but for the result you hope they will have. So, when you go to a party and manage to strike up a conversation with a hot director, you’ll be missing what he says, because what you’re actually thinking is: “Perhaps he’ll give me a job.” The party passes you by as you’re too busy concentrating on some future goal to appreciate what is going on around you.

I’m married to a lawyer. It’s his business to deal with people who arrive in his office repeating the mantra, “If only I hadn’t, if only she hadn’t . . .” When we got married, I’d come home from the office and say, “If only this hadn’t happened”, and waste hours reliving a situation. He’d calmly reply: “Well, it has happened. You can’t change it. Accept it.”

And that’s the real point: acceptance. We cannot change people, places or things — only our reactions. Someone said to me recently that thoughts of the past are generally full of resentments and thoughts of the future full of fear. How true.

Taking each day just as it comes is the true art of living. On my good days, messing about on the farm, watching a piglet trying to squeeze his chubby little body under a gate, eating a tomato I’ve grown myself, loving what I have rather than longing for what I don’t, or just hanging out with my nearest and dearest, I know exactly what Joyce Grenfell meant when she said: “There’s no such thing as time, only this very minute, and I’m in it. Thank the Lord.” All we have is this very moment: don’t throw it away, because it sure as hell isn’t coming back.

 

Give up city life and head for the sea, says Jo Craven

It may seem obvious that exchanging a job as features editor of Vogue in central London for a freelance life with a view of the sea would simplify things. Yet there are so many benefits I hadn’t anticipated. I love being able to see nature close up: the colours of the reeds that change every few weeks, guessing weather patterns from clouds, spotting honeysuckle coming into flower.

If that’s not feeling like you’re in the moment, then what is?

Then there’s work. What a difference it is being able to work when it suits me, maybe take the afternoon off and catch up in the evening. Although I’d negotiated my old job down to three days a week after the birth of my second child, I still had to deliver work within a fixed time frame. Also, if I’d carried on in that “moment” (lovely as it was, I had been doing it for five years), I might never have realised how good it feels to have changed everything. Now, it’s easier to accommodate the unexpected, and it feels good to be flexible without sweaty panic and punishing guilt.

Driving home from a weekend away recently, for the first time I could remember I felt calm and in control. My usual Sunday-night stress fest was absent. Phone calls, e-mails and promises I had made were now my responsibility, not something I would put off until I was nagged. It feels right that my working life is solely down to me. And there is inevitably more me time: I’ve finally taken up riding, which had been on my to-do list only for the past decade, while my list of hobbies — from bee-keeping to learning to sail — grows and grows.

I now see the issue of reduced choice in the countryside — something that puts so many people off — as an advantage. There is only one big music festival nearby, so that’s the one you go to. Wondering if you are missing something, somewhere else that could be better doesn’t even enter your head. Because there isn’t. When friends come to stay, you have catch-ups that you could never manage over a few squeezed hours of supper in the city. In my old life, I was a headless chicken, skipping from one party to the next, but now I’m in one place from start to finish, right until the sun sets.

 

Find ways to step out of the frame, says Tom Hodgkinson

We live in a society that values the thrill of action above the more deeply satisfying pleasures of contemplation. The admen aggressively promote gadgets such as the BlackBerry that promise to transform you into what they call a “superhuman” leading a life of nonstop activity. But, of course, what BlackBerries do is remove us from the present. In helping us to do more, they prevent us from simply being. In fact, this present moment is all we have. There is no past or future. There is only the now.

So, how do we reconnect with it? One strategy is to turn off the gadgets and go for a walk. Disconnect the wires; reconnect with nature. You don’t need to travel to Thailand: you need only take a stroll around the park. The sky is always above you, a fascinating, ever-changing collage of colours. There are always trees and birds to watch. When I am in London, I will walk for two hours rather than submit myself to “that vapour bath of hurried and discontented humanity”, which is how William Morris described the London Underground in 1890.

Yes, take a walk. Get off the bus two stops earlier. Walk to work. Walk in your lunch break. Dawdle on those delicious free loafing zones called public benches. Wander into old churches. Imagine that you are a Romantic poet, dreaming of a golden age before we were all condemned to slavery in the modern workplace.

Another way is to hang out with beings who have not transformed themselves into harbours of worry and regret — and that means small children and animals. Being silly with young ones, making faces and playing with them, is a sure-fire way of escaping the manacles of clock time (although I make an exception for the hell of pushing them on swings — that’s not play, that’s torture). Animals seem to inhabit the present with uncomplaining grace, and I think we can learn something from their stoic attitude to life. And small children have not yet been educated in the ideas of A to B in the fastest possible time.

Last, hide your watch. You can usually find out the time somehow or other if necessary, but wearing a watch makes you too intensely aware of it. Without a watch, at least you have the chance of forgetting what the time is every now and then, and therefore living in “eternity’s sunrise”, as Blake put it.

 

A stroke taught Dr Jill Bolte Taylor to tune out to stress

In December 1996, aged 37 and working as a neuroanatomist, I experienced a significant stroke in the left side of my brain. Within a few hours, I lost the ability to walk, talk, read and write. But existing only in the right hemisphere, I was in a state of bliss. There was no cognition of my external life, no sense of responsibility or stress. I was like a newborn. I was only in the moment. When you’re in the moment, everything is relaxed and the mind opens up: in its interest, its capacity, its exploration — that’s why it’s so creative and satisfying. There is no sense of time. There is no judgment — of me, against me, around me, by me.

Stress soon wanted to come back online, but I didn’t like the way it felt in my body — the tension in my chest, my breath getting shorter, my shoulders becoming tighter and elevated, the clenching of my jaw. But because I didn’t have incessant noise distracting me from it, I was able to recognise that stress was just neural circuitry, and that I had a conscious ability not to put myself into that emotional state, one that would produce that particular physiological response. 

Telling your brain not to do something is difficult, but giving it something else to do is easy. So, if you’re meditating and thinking, “Don’t think those thoughts”, then you do think them.

But if you say, “I don’t want to think these thoughts, so I’m going to think other thoughts instead”, then you will find you have that ability, we all do.

With stress, the first 90 seconds are important: allow yourself to experience your feelings. That way, you’re not trying to stop them. Let them take their natural course, to flood through you and out of you. When the mind is obsessing, the emotion feeds on itself — there is a natural satisfaction in continuing to obsess. You have to make that conscious decision not to. I’m lucky — that stressful circuitry is now my alarm: “You’re shifting into your left hemisphere. Do you want to go there?”

So many people ask, “How do I get to nirvana?” and I say, “Pay attention to when you’re already there.” When you’re having a belly laugh, you’re so right here, right now — how does it feel in your body? And first thing in the morning, when you wake up, before your brain engages with to-do lists, you’re purely in the right hemisphere, in the moment.

My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey by Jill Bolte Taylor is out now (Hodder £12.99)

 

It's the greatest pleasure of old age, says Diana Athill

I have rarely spent much time fretting about the future. I am 90: having thought a great deal about dying in the past in order to get used to it, I now try and avoid it. As one gets more incapacitated, thinking about death becomes too frightening. What I do now more than I used to is enjoy treats as much as I can — looking at pictures, being with friends, sitting in gardens; I’m fairly easily pleased.

A lot of people place too much on possession. That’s a terrible thing. I was brought up to believe that it was not important, wrong even, to fuss too much about possession. I never felt I needed a great deal — I never wanted or owned a house. I could never afford it and that didn’t bother me. There was a luxury in not thinking about money. It’s a question of what makes me happy, which was a job and friends I loved.

It’s true that things have to be good if you’re going to be happy, though. It’s slightly a matter of genes — for me, it is fairly easy. Some people are born anxious. I also read an enormous amount — perhaps that’s a strategy for avoiding anxieties. Discovering that I could write helped. If something really bad happens, the best way to face it is to face it completely: to examine it, to get to the bottom of it, then you can wrap it up and put it away.

I suppose I rate contentment more than I have done previously. I’m not so busy worrying about other things, which is a relief. I greatly appreciated being a sexual being, but getting out of it finally left room for other things. I spent the day with a man just recently, and we had a happy time full of laughter, and not an atom of sex in it — that was a lovely thing.

I spent an awfully long time thinking about sex as a younger woman.

I have just come back from the most wonderful week in the most northerly part of Scotland. It was so glorious because I was, for the whole time, in the moment. Everything went so well — I was just “there”. At one point, I was in a boat, with a man standing behind me. He said: “There is no place in the world I’d rather be.” I said: “I was thinking exactly the same thing.”

 

Meet generation now, the twitter kids. Fleur Britten reports

What are you doing now — like, right now? All right, you’re skim-reading this page, but keep hold of that question. To a newly identified generation — Generation Now — it’s the most important question in their lives. Take Emma Reynolds, co-founder of E3 Unlimited, a talent-management company: “I am 24, I travel six weeks a year and every other weekend (next up, Albania), and I’m out every evening — at plays, movies and gigs. I have absolutely no interest in investing in the future. I spend everything on the present.” With “Carpe diem” tattooed across her foot, Reynolds exemplifies the “now” crowd. Finding the accumulation of shiny new possessions rather déclassé, and forward-planning somewhat futile, this generation are turning to experiences — eating, drinking, playing — and putting themselves wholly in the present tense.